Friday, 27 May 2016

Vat 'n Sit(Playing house)

This seems to be a plaque of our generation, I should be allowed to say that. I have been following Dephne Madyara on YouTube and when it comes to relationships it feels like she is speaking directly to me.
Vat n' sit is an Afrikaans phrase that black people in South Africa, let me speak for myself,that my family  has used to describe people who live together out of wedlock. And I for one am not innocent from that.
We know as Christians that this is a no no and most of us do not like to hear that and we find excuses to continue with it regardless of it's implications. I am not sure which direction is this post going to take, will go with the flow I guess.
Where does it all start? I believe these would be the first typical reasons that lead us to this...

  • Cut down costs (pay one rent instead of 2 separate rentals)
  • We are going to get married anyway
  • It is temporary until I find a place
  • We have a child so why not
  • Lets see how this goes before we get married cause we might not like each other
And next thing you know it's years down the line and you are either married or resenting each other because it becomes so hard to detach from each other and you have become dependent on each other as well. If you are married one of you if not both does not find the relationship exciting anymore, that "just got married " feeling has been exhausted because you already know what it feels like to wake up in their arms, not that it is not going to happen along the way in the marriage but it is already happening at the beginning, where is the room for survival? 
Why would I advice to not go through with this

  • If you are a Christian then you know you should wait for marriage
  • You are stealing the mystery of the beginning of your marriage
  • You are saving yourself from resentment
  • You are investing in a marriage that is non-existent
  • You are compromising yourself
As a Christian how do we stay away from this, how do we dodge this bullet? We were/are taught to wait till marriage for such things for a reason. I have read somewhere that most couples that live together before marriage are most likely to get a divorce after, so now if a break up already feels bad what about a divorce? 
I am not innocent from this as I have mentioned and Holy Spirit has been convicting me about this ever since I took my salvation seriously. We can choose to act about our situation now or keep ignoring it, but we cannot change our past and we must accept that.
I can honestly say I know why the Bible says we should get married before we have relations with each other, a lot of things can be avoided during one's youth and Dephne touches a lot on that on her channel. I think I am going to do a continuation on this topic.

How do we help our fellow brothers to get out of this trap? and how do we prevent  and educate our children from it? Let's continue the discussion in the comment section.

PS: I am not giving anyone any advice, if you need it please seek it from a professional and if you choose to apply what I say to yourself don't hold me liable.

Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Time to read the Bible?

My bible does not look
like this though
I could not find a catchy title, forgive me. 
I often find myself reading books that contain scriptures from the Bible except the book with the scriptures itself.

I think as I am going to write this I will be realising a lot of things, so just bear with me when I shoot out ideas out of nowhere, I just realised for me reading the Bible is difficult, I relate to scripture more when someone is using it and comes with an explanation but when I do it myself I get stuck most of the time. There are times when I would page through and go back to the scriptures I heard being called in church or some book I am reading and already being familiar with then I would read the whole chapter or passage and then understand what the message of God is saying to me.

I used to feel guilty for not reading the Bible and later on learned that I should not it happens to the best of us(the enemy is the one who is making me feel guilty) and now recently I have this yearn to read it but I just never do, I will read a chapter and stop half way through and pray over it and then meditate over it and I will probably not read the Bible for another month after.
I don't know why that is and yes I do pray for the yearning to read it and the understanding, I ask Holy Spirit to be with me in this journey more than anything.

I find that I cannot open the Bible like your regular book and read from chapter after chapter, I have done it before and it had no impact whatsoever spiritually but just facts of what happened in Genesis and Revelations(the books I have fully read). I am expecting a lot of people to tell me to be consistent and always take it a scripture at a time.
Your word is a lamp
to my feet and a
light to my path.

Does it take you some time for preparation before you can read a scripture, do you feel that you have to set your mind and yourself right first before you can dive in and read what God has in store for you? For me it takes the right space and time to be able to get the best out of that opportunity and it is something that happens scarcely, I can't just randomly open the Bible and wherever the page opens up then I start reading. I find that I have to pray and meditate make myself right with God and ask Holy Spirit, and that alone shuts me down(I get lazy) I am guessing I cut back on that because I wish it would be simple for me. I should stop being lazy :(.

But in the world where we work and the result is exhaustion and you don't want to squeeze God in when you are in a rush to work or tired after work, how do you make time for that? How do you get over the obstacles that keep you away from reading the Bible, do you hide behind other books like me?

As I am writing this passage I must say I do realise what my problem is and I will definitely pray about it and work on it with the help of Holy Spirit. Until the next post, may God bless you...