Friday, 27 May 2016

Vat 'n Sit(Playing house)

This seems to be a plaque of our generation, I should be allowed to say that. I have been following Dephne Madyara on YouTube and when it comes to relationships it feels like she is speaking directly to me.
Vat n' sit is an Afrikaans phrase that black people in South Africa, let me speak for myself,that my family  has used to describe people who live together out of wedlock. And I for one am not innocent from that.
We know as Christians that this is a no no and most of us do not like to hear that and we find excuses to continue with it regardless of it's implications. I am not sure which direction is this post going to take, will go with the flow I guess.
Where does it all start? I believe these would be the first typical reasons that lead us to this...

  • Cut down costs (pay one rent instead of 2 separate rentals)
  • We are going to get married anyway
  • It is temporary until I find a place
  • We have a child so why not
  • Lets see how this goes before we get married cause we might not like each other
And next thing you know it's years down the line and you are either married or resenting each other because it becomes so hard to detach from each other and you have become dependent on each other as well. If you are married one of you if not both does not find the relationship exciting anymore, that "just got married " feeling has been exhausted because you already know what it feels like to wake up in their arms, not that it is not going to happen along the way in the marriage but it is already happening at the beginning, where is the room for survival? 
Why would I advice to not go through with this

  • If you are a Christian then you know you should wait for marriage
  • You are stealing the mystery of the beginning of your marriage
  • You are saving yourself from resentment
  • You are investing in a marriage that is non-existent
  • You are compromising yourself
As a Christian how do we stay away from this, how do we dodge this bullet? We were/are taught to wait till marriage for such things for a reason. I have read somewhere that most couples that live together before marriage are most likely to get a divorce after, so now if a break up already feels bad what about a divorce? 
I am not innocent from this as I have mentioned and Holy Spirit has been convicting me about this ever since I took my salvation seriously. We can choose to act about our situation now or keep ignoring it, but we cannot change our past and we must accept that.
I can honestly say I know why the Bible says we should get married before we have relations with each other, a lot of things can be avoided during one's youth and Dephne touches a lot on that on her channel. I think I am going to do a continuation on this topic.

How do we help our fellow brothers to get out of this trap? and how do we prevent  and educate our children from it? Let's continue the discussion in the comment section.

PS: I am not giving anyone any advice, if you need it please seek it from a professional and if you choose to apply what I say to yourself don't hold me liable.

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