Hot fueled anger! One of the most passionate things you have ever felt is anger and it is so nice, don't lie, it's best to admit it. Okay it is nice to me but at the same time I know it is not something that should linger for long but now that is where the problem is...
Most of the time I write as I feel or as I go through something so that I can deliver the message fresh as it is. I never really knew that I am an angry person until one bad relationship had to happen. So I guess the right buttons were not pushed up until that moment, I was always a person who had the "I am calm, cool and collected" mantra on replay in my head.
So that one bad incident happened and I exploded in anger, I did not know what to do but my anger ended up in a week long obsession and mutterings that were not helpful both to me and the person who made me angry(we need to be careful of this because our words hold a lot of power). I had known somewhat about Jesus but most of all I knew that what I was doing was wrong, I had to stop myself and eventually say "Tshego you got to stop, what you are doing is wrong in the eyes of God". Yes I knew I was not supposed to go a day let alone sleep on it and then wake up with the same fury, the fire did not want to stop!
Jumping to now, I still have this anger to my now boyfriend(it's a long story that will be shared when the time is right)-but I need to get this point across to you. Of course it was caused by something but it fuels out of proportion. There was a point where it was out of control and I can honestly tell you the root of this is insecurities. I did not realise this until I had to step out of my shoes and you know who stepped in, JESUS! lol. Yes, for real though, I had to step down because this confusion of this burning flame of anger inside was starting to get out of control. You don't want to feel anger to the point that you want to burn everything down then you know something is wrong.
So as I was consulting with Holy Spirit, I was very open to him and stated that I do not know why am I still angry help me overcome this and help me see from which direction is this coming from. It has been quiet a while since I have been asking and today I find myself having to go back to that place again because my hot temper is flaring up. The enemy was the cause of this somehow. You know when you get angry at a person for saying hello(an example, just roll with it) and you yourself are left confused. That is what the enemy does. If you have watched War Room, the grandma tells the woman to stop fighting your husband he is not the person you should be fighting. The same thing was happening here. The enemy will be behind the voice and knows that your weakness will take over and if you have a quick mouth like me then you would end up in an unpleasant situation.
If you are like me and struggling, remember that you are not alone, God is with you. Trust him with your issues, confess your anger problem to him and ask him to deliver you from it. You may need to do this daily completely trusting that he is at work within you. I did not get to see changes immediately as I started to address this issue but I knew I desperately needed help from him. Over time I noticed that I am not so quick to talk. Which is also something I asked helped for, that my tongue should be tamed or tied if necessary. All of this requires self-discipline as well. I can only give credit to God that my anger and my sharp tongue have been a work in progress and I know when I feel like I am falling again I can just hold his hand. Yes, so be aware of what the enemy uses to get you furious and pray against his traps.
Please do not let your anger go longer than a day, the Bible speaks against that. As Christians we should not hold on to grudges it does not help us build the church and become one body, so if you hold on to negative feeling they will take a while to leave and cause disruption within the body. I will probably touch on this again soon and give you an update/testimony.
Please comment how you get through this and how has God helped you. A word of encouragement is always appreciated.
Until next post, God bless...